There are many well-intended and talented therapists who self-identify as “LGBTQ+ affirming” but are limited in the understanding and skills necessary to be a true ally to this community. Many times, therapists may feel competent enough to provide services to the LGBTQ+ community because they believe “we’re all equal!”, or they enjoy consuming “gay” media.

Want to avoid doing unintentional harm as an affirming therapist who really means well but doesn’t know the queer experience personally?

If you’ve ever been to therapy as a queer or trans person, you may know the feeling: sitting across from a well-meaning, “LGBTQ+ affirming” therapist—and still feeling completely misunderstood. Maybe they fumble your pronouns, offer awkward silence instead of solidarity, or treat your identity like a case study. Even with the best intentions, too many therapists outside of our communities miss the mark.